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Bandar Seri Begawan – Their eyes met. There was instant recognition.

He remembered she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. Now there could be no doubt it was her. It had to be because she was the loveliest creature in his class. And despite all these years she had not changed. There could be no mistake about that enchanting sparkle in her eyes. Ever.

“Are you….?” They spoke at the same time. Sitting at the next table she too seemed to have recognized him.

There was an embarrassing pause. Then they burst out in laughter. Yes, of course. Who else could it be?

After so many years that had met in a café in town in Jalan Sultan one day last year. She was with others, a man and three children.

“Meet my family,” she said. “This is my husband, Haji Jubir and my two daughters Natasha and Suzie and my son, Ali Hashim.”

The man was tall and wore the white cassock, the gamis, usually donned by devout Muslims especially during prayers and other holy occasions. He had a white skullcap or topi haji on his fair head.

The family now lived in Scotland. He was computer consultant.

Many years ago he was working in Brunei. That was when he met her, a young thing just out of school. She was working in the same department.

Things then just happened: The beautiful Bruneian girl and the young man just out of Scotland.

And so they met and married. The man, of course, became a Muslim by choice and was a good one at that ever since.

Life was happy and there was sunshine each and every day. Then one day everything changed. They faced a dilemma unfortunately encountered by so many Brunei women married to foreigners.

They had at that time one child, the girl Natasha.

One day he returned from work and announced: “They didn’t renew my contract. I suppose we have to leave Brunei. There is no way I can stay on here. That is the regulation.”

At first she did not fully realize the significance. The implications, serious as it was, sank in only much later.

According to current Brunei rules a local woman marrying a foreigner would have to place herself under the care of her husband totally.

That means she has to go wherever her husband goes. Since she decided to marry a foreigner she should be looked after by him, seems to be the dictum.

On the contrary, if a Brunei man marries a foreign woman she and her children may be given an entry pass and eventually permanent residency enabling her to work here.

The United Kingdom and many other countries get out of this situation by mentioning in their laws “Spouse” instead of “Wife.” Spouse could mean either husband or wife, thus cutting both ways.

So in the particular situation under mention this family, like so many others had to make a hard decision.

“It was so difficult for me. I loved my mother and my family so very much,” she said.

“Leaving them all here and starting all over again in Britain was a frightening thought.

“Brunei is my home. Here was where I was born and raised. It was a heartbreaking decision,” she said.

But she had no choice. She was at that time three months pregnant with her second child. And she loved her husband. There was no question of leaving him.

She would go wherever he went, even giving up sunny Brunei and braving the chilling winds of Scotland.

That was more than 15 years ago. Now she was back. But then only for a month for the Ramadan to be with her old mother to break the fast together with her brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts and, of course, her many friends.

But, she like so many others would not be able to make it every year. It is an expensive venture for the whole family to make the yearly sojourn.

“I do not know when we will return,” she said with a trace of sadness. “It is a matter of time and, of course, money. For example, because of work my husband has to return in a week’s time. He will miss Hari Raya with us in Brunei,” she said.

One notices her children. Three fine youngsters. They are indeed, Brunei’s loss.

Brought up in Britain they can never be in the true sense real Bruneians. Most probably being not familiar with Brunei they will never come back to stay or work here.

Indeed we have lost them most likely for ever. They have therefore joined the growing number of Brunei exiles.

There hundreds, may be thousands, like them in Britain, Canada and elsewhere. They are Brunei’s lost generation: A generation that we can hardly afford to lose, someone remarked the other day.

And Brunei’s population growth rate is plunging. Surely we need them, others ventured to say.

But surely, many observers believe, the situation could be put right by a slight adjustment of the current precept which is now based on the traditional dictum that a man must support his wife and not the other way.

But in the modern concept that is becoming less and less true. Women are beginning to earn more and at least it is an increasingly joint contribution to keep the household up.

Besides the idea of getting rid of the foreign husband is also depriving the country of some very skilled people who could contribute much to nation building. It is also breaking up and or uprooting families. Children are being deprived of their father in some cases.

Then consider this scenario: The foreign husband falls sick and loses his job. That means he has to leave Brunei.

Who is to look after him? Help is taken away from him when he needs it most.

Yes, we need to have a good look at the present situation.

And the current holy month of Ramadan which is month of forgiveness and righteousness is a good time to do that, many thinking people are of the opinion.

Of course, there are those marriages of convenience to consider when thinking of adjusting the current guidelines.

Innocent local girls should be protected from scheming foreign males. That is a common problem in many countries. But there are remedies.

Safeguards could be built in to prevent abuses, lawyers here said.

It is a sad predicament in Brunei that citizenship is not a birthright unless one of your parents is also a citizen.

Imagine this scenario. A Bruneian man marries a woman from Indonesia, Philippines, Thailand or any other country in the world. The wife would be granted citizenship in 5 years. This person would have little knowledge of the language nor the customs of Brunei. If a Bruneian woman marries a foreigner, have children and live in Brunei for 20 years, he would still not be granted citizenship here. If he divorces his wife, he will have to leave the country and maybe leave his children behind as they were brought up here and used to the lifestyle here. Is there any justification in denying this man his fatherly rights?

A person who is born here and lived here for 50, 60 or more years is not granted citizenship. Where is the rationality in this? PR’s who live here are not blind to this. They feel that this is unfair practice and that they would be probably better off where they will be appreciated. After living in their adopted country, be it Canada, Australia or elsewhere for 5 years, most of them will be eligible to sit for citizenship tests in that country. The exams are easier to pass and are usually based on general knowledge of the country and its legislature.

Of course, there is this argument that most citizens here will counter with. If you don’t like it, you can leave. That is why you see so many empty houses in Seria now. Most of the PRs have left for greener pastures elsewhere. The number of people leaving is significant as pointed out recently by the government. They did not directly attribute the slowing population growth rate directly to that but people migrating has a definite impact on our population. Had we not have a lot of people migrating; we would not have to hire so many foreigners in Brunei. The government must do something to stop people from leaving and the only way is grant citizenship as a birthright. This will not stop everyone from migrating but it will definitely minimize the impact.

Name: Grey Owl
Email: scar882002@yahoo.com  

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What can my future generations and i get, if we just stay on like this in Brunei, thus, as a matter of having no choice we need to migrate, I really hope Brunei will look into this matter seriously.

Name: Daru
Email: daru123@gmail.com

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Why should the government go easy on the granting of citizenship? The government should never ever give in to those whose loyalty is conditional and who always threaten to leave the country if their wishes were not to be met. If they want it so bad, they have to earn it. That’s the dictum!

Why when every time the issues of stateless, PR and citizenships crop up these people would play we-would-leave card? How can they become a loyal citizen of Brunei if they have this mentality of leaving the country if they cannot get something they want? True Bruneians would never do that, not even contemplating to do such a thing.

Brain drain? How big is the number and how significant is the loss? Of course, there’ll be some exceptional cases (e.g. those who got highly-specialized skills) but these would only be a rarity. Overall, I don’t think the number is big enough to make any significant differences. Anyway, why should Brunei worry when we’re now in a globalisation era where there’s a free flow of labour globally? In any case, we’ll forever rely on foreigners/expatriates to do some of the jobs in Brunei.

Citizenship is priceless in Brunei (for whatever reasons that is). Those who want to apply for the citizenship need to see that way.

Name: SM

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Dear Ignatius,

I really enjoy your writing and I can see that it has a lot of meaning in it, especially the story about the Kampong Ayer. After reading some of your writings in B.B. and from this website, I began to like it. As for me, I’m a Permanent Resident, and writing has been a passion of mine ever since I was in S.O.A.S. College and in my Primary school. I used to dream that one day that I could work in such industry, but here I am still enjoying writing as it is part of my life, I also wrote a few scripts for RTB but I just tried my luck. I’m a Chef in a local Hotel Restaurant right here in Bandar, and I was hoping that you would write more and if you think that it’s time for you to create a book so then do it, and I was also hoping that you would teach me a few basic writing skills. You could find my writing in HYS section in the ENGLISH language about HABITS OF BRUNEIAN IN THE HOLY MONTH OF RAMADHAN and View Of Brunei Town And Her People. Have a nice day.

Name: M.N.Abdullah
Email: viva_la_avon@hotmail.com

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Many thanks for your kind words. Like you I am also learning, bit by bit everyday. I hope you will have every future success. Keep it up.

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You may ask Why is the government blind to this? I would tend to think that they are insecure with allowing foreigners live here. Even those born here are only granted residence permits if their fathers were not citizens here. Is the government afraid that other people will control their economy? Is it a security measure? Are these citizens a threat to the safety of others? What are the main reasons for denying citizens to those born here and whose parents have lived here all their life?

This predicament is not anything new. Many highly skilled people have been leaving this country, bringing with them their families. Most go because of the archaic laws with regards to citizenship and suppression at their jobs. It has been well documented that certain promotions and positions are only reserved for citizens irregardless of ability. Most people see this as a step in the wrong direction for a country to progress. Until the government loosens up their grips on citizenship, the out flux of these citizens will continue. The brain drain will be felt later when we suddenly realize that we have to import skilled workers from Philippines, India, Malaysia, etc. Laws with regards to citizenship and spousal status have to be changed to prevent this from happening. Many will have this good riddance if they dont like it attitude but they too will soon realize the gravity of this phenomenon in the following years.

I am sure that many NGOs are feeling the pinch with regards to employing skilled workers now. Laws with regards to citizenship here will have to change drastically. Most of those whom I have spoken to have said that they would have stayed if they were given citizenship here. Some are talking of returning with the new laws in regards to obtaining citizenship but have found the process to be too difficult and complicated. It seems that the government is not making it easy for those born here without citizenship. More should be done to make the process simpler and not so tedious. Those born here should be given immediate citizenship. There should not be any questions as to their ancestry. A lot of these people have received citizenship in their newly adopted country after staying 5 years while these same people can live and contribute here for a life time will never see their yellow ICs. Most want to return here because of family connections and also familiarity of their birth place.

Foreigners who marry locals should be allowed to stay in Brunei with their spouse and family as long as they would like to. The government should, under no circumstances break families apart due in part to their archaic laws and regulations. Of course they are those who marry for convenience but you cannot impede the whole process due to a few bad apples. Those have to be weeded out and eradicated from the system.

In conclusion, I believe that this is in the hands of the law makers and policy changers of Brunei. What they enact or not enact today will determine the way we live in the future. They are the ones who determine if we live and grow with this Abode of Peace or if some of us will be contributing to the growth of an adopted land elsewhere.

Name: Grey Owl
Email: scar882002@yahoo.com

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