A Cry In The Dark

Bandar Seri Begawan - "Help!" said the voice on the phone. There was something in her tone that put you on guard right away. Then there popped the inevitable question so frequent with some nowadays. For she asked, "Don't you remember me?"

Why do some people insist that everyone should recognise their voice right away on the mobile phone? You get the feeling that if you say "no" they would be offended. So to keep them happy and not to injure their ego, you just try to string along.

"Oh, yea," you reply. But you still do not have the faintest idea who she was. Marking time you try to recollect. But it was useless. Who is she anyway?

Never mind. She is talking again. "Really, I need your help desperately," the voice went on.

You listen. It was a sweet little tone and somewhat appealing too. So you listen on.

"You still there?" she asks.

"Yes. Of course."

"It's not for me, you know."

"Yes, I understand."

Now at last you are beginning to get the drift.

She was in some sort of trouble but it was too personal. It was too embarrassing, in fact. You were now guessing and guessing it right.

Then Bingo! "It is for my friend."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Yes, she tried everything."

There was a pause. Obviously she hesitated. Perhaps she was unsure that she should go on.

But it was obvious that she was quite distressed. And she had to tell someone.

"Yes, my friend tried everything. Chinese medicine, Malay bomoh. Still no use. Still coming to three months."

You could feel the pain and the ache, the sense of abandonment. All that hurt and the confusion. Yes, indeed, she had really landed herself in a state of suicidal despair.

All that you could feel and more.

At the same time she must now be remembering with some bitterness those nights of sheer delight and rapture. Those happy days and the taste of the forbidden fruit and then the final betrayal. And now cast out like some used

rag her growing torment was complete.

"Isn't there anything anyone can do to help, anything at all?" She who was so confident so far now broke into a sob.

What could one do? You did not even know who she was. And soon the conversation came to an end. It was indeed a sad episode.

And it did leave a mark on you.

Teachers in local girls school one meet these days talk about and say with a knowing look, "Teenage pregnancies are a growing problem in Brunei."

"It is a menace that people tend to sweep under the carpet hoping it will somehow go away soon," she said.

But it is not disappearing. In fact it is getting worse and might develop into a towering social setback," she added.

Ask the hospital staff. They will tell you something about it.

But it is a problem that haunts the rest of the world as well and in Brunei the situation is aggravated because of slack parental control and lack of knowledge and a near non-existent sex education.

Irresponsible and unscrupulous attitude of some men are also contributory so that an increasing number of girls make their way to those Miri clinics which no one likes to talk about.

Girls in trouble keep it a secret as long as they can. Many a time babies are found dumped in garbage bins and such places. Social stigma is a big thing in Brunei and not tolerated by the family and the society.

Peer pressure, boredom, wild teenage parties and the excitement and the adventure of being picked up by comparative strangers at night are contributory factors in Brunei, social workers here say.

And it is often the company you keep.

Another social worker commented: "Normally girls do not like having sex. Many are pressured into it. They want to be `free' and `normal' like their friends. So they join them in doing things. But it's far too late when they discover that they have lost their freedom already. Straddled with unwanted pregnancies their life changes from normal to chaotic."

And when you talk about sex education it is a double-edged sword.

In UK and the US, some organisations have gone overboard on sex education. The young are made to think it is a licence for free and easy sex although teenage pregnancies are somewhat avoided to some degree but in many instances it is not working.

In these countries teenage pregnancies are a growing problem..

In UK tackling teenage pregnancy is central to the government's work to prevent health inequalities, child poverty and social exclusion.

Girls from the poorest backgrounds are ten times more likely to become teenage mothers than girls from professional backgrounds.

One in every 10 babies in England is born to a teenage mother. These children are at high risk of growing up in poverty and experiencing poor health and social outcomes. Infant mortality rates for babies born to mothers under the age of 18 are twice the average.

In Brunei, where statistics are hard to come by, there is no doubt it is an increasing headache.

Stricter parental control could be one answer. Religious education is another.

And the situation in the country can and should be improved. There is still time. -- Courtesy of Borneo Bulletin

Click Here To Have Your Say On This Story

Brudirect.com News

Brunei's Fastest Growing Website with