Putting The System Right For Women
By Ignatius Stephen

Bandar Seri Begawan - The sun rose every morning and it sank like a red ball of fire into the ocean at the end of each day. But the nights were intolerable.

Sitting in the verandah she would look out for the stars, her gaze taking in a wide sweep of the dark sky. She hoped to find at least one tiny twinkle.

And if she would find one she would attach herself to it as a sign of hope, a glimmer of better days to come.

"How long ... How long?" she would often sigh. She would never admit that her husband had done anything wrong to deserve such treatment. And she never imagined that her married life would be such a crown of thorns so soon.

Yes, her beloved husband whom she married just a few years ago had done nothing wrong. She was so sure of that. But now he was in jail and he would remain there for some years.

No, he had not stolen anything. Perhaps the police had arrested the wrong man. And now he was languishing in jail. She would never believe that he was caught redhanded.

She was not aware that her husband was in jail before. He, as they say, had a record. And now he was in again.

But how was she to know that? To her he was prince charming. And she would wait for him even if it takes years. And she loved him.

There were many men who would want to go partying with her. After all, she was a beautiful young thing. Lonely and lovely. That was plain to see. But she spurned them all. She would wait for him. no matter what.

And so the days rolled by and night took its sleepless toll. Fine wrinkles formed round her eyes. But she was still a good looker.

No one would think that she was a mother of two. She had not put on weight like so many of her friends and she maintained her slim youthful figure.

Her husband had committed theft two years ago and it took some time for the police to connect him to the crime. However, he was eventually arrested and charged nevertheless and sent to prison.

And now she was waiting for him. The sun will soon shine for her again. But not now. She will wait however long.

And eventually the happy day arrived sooner than expected. He was with her once again. Her bliss was complete. The joy she experienced was worth waiting for. But it was not for long. After a few weeks of bliss and so much hope, he began to be absent from home. And the time he was not around became progressively longer. He came back at odd hours of the night and slumped into bed without saying anything.

Doubts began to creep in. Her happiness was beginning to evaporate. Was this what she had sacrificed for so long? Then one day he just failed to return.

Eventually, she heard that he was now with another woman. Tears of utter misery welled up often at the thought of this injustice. Had she not sacrificed enough? Had she not waited for him all these while? Now this: It was hard to accept.

She was like so many women in Brunei. Abandoned and without hope. Without hope because she like many others are not able to get a divorce easily. There is so much red tape for a woman like her in the country to get a settlement so that they could get on with life.

"It is an interminable process. And there is a horrendous backlog of cases. Many like me feel discriminated against," she told friends.

There is a serious social problem building up because of I so many women are left to their own devices by absconding husbands who either divorce them at the drop of a hat or else just disappear leaving them in the lurch.

Many are in despair because there feel no hope and that the dice is heavily loaded against them. And therein lays the danger.

If the woman is fairly educated, then she would be able to find decent work and support the children. If not, that is where the problem lies.

Being uneducated there is the danger of some to take the easy way out. We do not have prostitution in a serious way here at the moment. But are we laying the groundwork for such an eventuality?

At the moment there is a certain degree of social safety network to catch the victimised families. There are parents and relatives who would come to their aid. However, that might not be all the time as the numbers grow.

We have to find a solution. Brunei's long-suffering women are blemish. Is there a way to put right the system? That is the question we will have to solve one way or another. And the quicker the better.

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